Mirror ERISED
by Esmeralda2134
Summary: Sirius and Lily look into the mirror ERISED.But what if your heart's greatest desire would be your greatest downfall?. Set in the their 7th year at Hogwarts. LE/SB


_A little one-shot that just popped into my mind. Hope you like it. Reviews appreciated._

_I don´t own Harry Potter or any of its characters. _

It was an half an hour to midnight and Lily Evans was the only student left in the Gryffindor common room. She sat in front of the big fire place , flipping randomly through different books. It was that moment Sirius chose to make his appearance.

" Hey Flower-girl", he called out. " Any idea where I might find prongs?" Lily shook her head. Her long dark red curls framed her face and the fire was reflected in her bright green eyes. She looked more beautiful than any girl should be allowed to, Sirius thought. Prongs truly was lucky to have her.

" Probably still thinking about your birthday present", he muttered. " Really? Surely you know what he is getting me, don´t you?" She looked like a little girl on Christmas eve. " Well, I am indeed happen to know what you are desperately trying to figure out by now. " he responded. " And , Lil", he added with a smirk." I also happen to know how to use occlumenty". She muttered something under her breath he couldn´t make out although he believed he heard something like insufferable, smart git.

He secretly smiled at himself until the image of his best friend who was probably pacing their dormitory at the very moment , thinking about the best way to hand over his present crept back into his mind. He suddenly felt the urge to give her something special himself, something she would remember. But what? Then a flash of inspiration hit him. He would show her what he hadn´t even shown James, his best mate for eternity.

"Lily", he said, his voice serious now. " Can I show you something?" Lily looked up in surprise. " Sure", she answered. " Come with me, then." " But it´s past curfew and if we get caught..." He cut her off. " Lil, I´m a marauder. We never get caught." He stated. " Please". " Okay, show me then." Lily said with a sigh. " You´ll convince me anyway, so it would be wasted time to discuss it any further." " Very clever of you, Miss Evans." She laughed and he pulled her to her feet and motioned her to follow him.

They walked through the empty corridors of Hogwarts until they reached an abandoned classroom on the third floor. He held the door open for her and she entered the room before him. Tables and chairs were stapled against the walls but that was not what caught Lily´s eye. In the middle of the room stood a large old mirror. It was beautiful with it stony twirlers entwined around a word engraved in devoured letters on the top.

Lily moved closer to it but Sirius stopped her. " Wait, before you look in it you should know what it´ll show you. Then you can decide if you want to do so." He was quiet sure she would want to look in it,but he had to make it sure first. " What does it show?", she asked, curiosity sparkling in her emerald eyes. " This mirror, the mirror ERISED, show you you heart´s deepest desire", he explained. " I thought you might like to see it, it may help you tomorrow , too" " Thanks, Sirius, that is very sweet of - wait, do you mean James is going to ask me to marry him?" she exclaimed, worry, excitement and happiness mixing in her angelic face. " Don´t tell him I spoiled his surprise".

Sirius felt his heart arch as he saw the happiness in her face. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn´t even noticed her stepping in front of the mirror. He only came back to reality when she made a strange noise that sounded like she was in pain or something. He turned around alarmed to meet her confused stare. Her emerald eyes bore into his smoldering black orbs.

" What do you see when you look into the mirror, Sirius?" She asked, her voice shaking. He cringed. He had known she would want to know that, nevertheless he had hoped he would never, ever have to answer this question. But as he held her gaze, he simply coudn´t lie to her. He knew it was unfair to burden her with this, but he needed her to know at that moment. So he took a deep breath and confessed his long-kept secret to her.

" I see James", he whispered. " And I see you. You are both smiling. James holds your hand but you rest your head on my shoulder. James has his arm around my shoulders and we all look so damn happy." The last part was nearly inaudible. Sirius turned away and hidd his face in his hands. He didn´t want her to see the tears that started streaming down his face. This was his burden to bear, not hers.

" I never knew", she said. " You weren´t supposed to ever learn it", he responded , his voice bitter. " Why have you never said a single word about it?" she still hadn´t fully gasped it, he could tell. " You don´t betray your brother for a girl." He stated simply. " I love James like a brother, Lily.I´ll always put his happiness before my own, because I know he would do the same for me. Besides, it wouldn´t have changed anything if you had known. It would have only stopped us from becoming at least friends."

He finally gathered enough courage to look at her and saw she was crying, too. They made eye-contact and one moment later, he found her hugging him, clinging him tightly to her body. " I´m so sorry", she murmured in his chest", " So unbelievably sorry". He awkwardly stroked her long red hair. " Don´t be." he whispered. " It´s not your fault."

" By the way", he added with a look at his watch, " Happy birthday, Lil" She still cried into his chest silently, so he lifted her chin and forced her to look up at him. " Please stop crying. I don´t want you to be unhappy.Not on my account. Go and be happy with Prongs. He deserves it. You deserve it. Don´t worry about me. I´ll be fine." A sad smile appeared on his handsome face. " I always am. I´ll-"

He wasn´t able to finish his sentence because Lily kissed him with all her might. She poured all her desperation and her inner conflict into that kiss and he responded with equal force.That moment they forgot about everything that separated them. She ran her tongue along his bottom lip and begged for entrance which he willingly granted. They kissed and kissed and shut out the world, sinking into the comfort of each other´s warm mouth and the oblivion it promised.

When they finally broke away, none of them moved any further. They just stood there, gazing into each others eyes, holding each other, in their hopeless, unwinnable situation.

Finally Lily broke the silence. " I don´t even deserve one of you", she mumbled. " Who am I to get both?". " Sirius carefully untangled his fingers from her hair. He tugged a lock back behind her ear as he murmured. " You deserve much more. We need to go back now and pretend that never happened, though."

He carefully let go of her, It felt like surrendering his heart and agony filled every cell of his body. Only the image of James´ face kept him moving. " I´m sorry you also have to bear that burden now. And I just want you to know I´ll be there for you, no matter what." He sucked in a deep breath. " As a friend." he smiled sadly at her.

" Now, go and make James happy." She nodded, and then hugged him tightly one last time. " I love you", he said quietly. " I always will. "

He sighed. Lily kissed his cheek tenderly, then turned around and left the room. Suddenly Sirius remembered something. " Hey, Lil", he called after her. " What did you see in the mirror? I mean, I told you what I saw, so.." But she was already gone.

That day Lily Evans agreed to become Mrs. Potter and to make James the most happiest man alive. That day, Sirius learned that it was blissful to get his heart shattering into pieces because all the pain and sorrow faded away in comparison to James´ shining eyes and his happy smile. Sirius figured he had to be a masochist after all. That evening, when he went to sleep, he found a note lying on his pillow . It said:

_Exactly the same._

_Forever._

The ink was blurred from tears.

In spite of all the things that happened , that night Sirius fell asleep with a smile on his face and the two people in his mind who meant the world to him.

Forevermore.


End file.
